Saturday, June 25, 2005

Malaysian Idol: Theatre eliminations

Day 1

Nothing particularly exciting worth mentioning on the first day. Most of the Malaysian Idol hopefuls were required to perform on a theatre stage and at the end of the day, only 74 would be sent to the next round. So there certainly was a lot of practicing and practicing outside the theatre, with each singer practicing without unduly disturbing the others.

Except for this Fat Kampung Rocker. He would practice at the top of his voice. And get everybody else really pissed off! One girl described him as the Malaysian version of Constantine(American Idol finalist). And then she added, “I think he’s Constipate!”

Constipate my ass. Fat Kampung Rocker got thru’ to the next round.

Day 2

The 74 singers who got through from Day 1 were required to perform a duet. People were paired off by the judges and they would have to choose appropriate songs. This led to several bad song choices as the singers didn’t really understand each other. In fact, the teamwork was atrocious! Like goats trying to bleat in tune with ducks.

You should never pick a song that your partner can’t sing. And you should always stick to the format you practiced so as not to throw off your partner during the actual performance. That’s what some of them found out too late.

The only bright spot was this performance by a Red-haired Anorexic Girl who partnered a Short Cute Boy(called Daniel). They sang “Fire” and it was comparatively good. The judges lapped it up like starving cats.

Fat Kampung rocker made a mess of his song but he was told, to his surprise, that he got through to the next round. He celebrated by yelling at the TV camera, “Orang Kampung!” Now, we all know that Orang Kampung is a brand of the sex herb kacip fatima, the backyard version of Viagra for women, don’t we? I’ve blogged about kacip fatima, before, I believe. So what’s Fat Kampung Rocker’s connection with Orang Kampung? Is he peddling the stuff?

At the end of the day, 51 singers were left.

Day 3

Participants were required to sing the songs picked by the judges. Those who were asked to sing “Gemilang” fared badly. There was one girl with a good voice, nice figure, and she looked like a ‘7’ on a humpability scale of 1 to 10. Her mind went more or less blank when she sang “Gemilang” and she was given the opportunity to sing again. However, she chose to bow out. Which was a pity. Cos you don’t often get a ‘7’ appearing on Malaysian Idol.

The reason why only nice looking girls should be encouraged to sing on TV is because if you don’t like the song, you can always hump the TV. Don’t try this at home. Damn, what am I talking about…….it’s YOUR TV, not mine! Okay, try it and tell me the results. Should be fun to blog about.

I thin Nita, the slim Penang cafe singer got through to the final 24. Nice chick. Slightly on the thin side. Humpability factor 6.

Fat Kampung Rocker also got through. Humpability factor zero. And again he shouted “Orang Kampung” at the TV camera. I’m starting to like the guy. Even thinking of going out to buy me a bottle of kacip fatima. Then again, better not. It may have strange effects on males and make me horny for goats and ducks.

At the end of the day, only 24 were left. I'm not sure about the rules, but I think from this point onwards, the public will get to vote for their favourites. I’ve lots of money left unused on my prepaid handphone account. More than a hundred ringgit, I believe. Yes! Takes very little to make me happy, doesn't it?